What are the Top 5 Most Expected Things To See in Hawaii? Waikiki? Beaches? Palm Trees? Diamond Head? Bikinis? None of the above. Number One on the list is—WATER!! You’ll see more of that than anything else—unless Anna Nicole comes for a visit.

Water is pretty much everywhere in Hawaii. The island chain is surrounded by water. The drinking water is pretty much the best and most pure in the world (my world, Beakman’s World, and Waterworld). The mountains always have clouds and it’s always raining there. Mostly.

With all that water, all the beaches, all the outdoor activities, and all the tourists, what’s the Number One Water location in Honolulu?

Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park. Except it’s not really in Honolulu. It’s in Kapolei, way out west where there’s sufficient land to put up such an entertaining Goliath, Mothra, or Gozilla-like place. If Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park were in Waikiki, they’d have to do away with the whole Royal Hawaiian Shopping Center, The Sheraton Waikiki, and the bars on Lewers Street.

What’s the fun of Lewers Street without the bars?

Promotional material describes the Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park as “absolutely the most fun you’ll ever have in the water.”

Now it’s time for a debate. They don’t know about that little sailing adventure I had with Kalani Fernandez during my sophomore year. It was all in the water, folks.

Regardless, I get what they’re after with this. Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park is a place with giant water slides, giant pools of water, a spa, a mega wavepool, and so much more I’m likely to run out of commas.

Is it just for kids? Yes. And no. It depends. If you like fun, this is the place to go. If you don’t like fun, stay where you are.

Here’s the list of notables (rides and attractions) that’ll contribute a few extra words to my entry today:

Trader Jacks – stuff to buy. Make sure to get enough sun tan lotion.

Kapolei Kooler – 800 foot long river ride. They say it’s continuous but I can’t see where the water begins or ends.

Cutter’s Island Bar and Spa—Cutter is in to everything. Cars and trucks. Now bars and spas.

The CliffHanger—free fall for six stories down two slides.

Volcano Express – half volcano, half drag strip, nearly six stories tall

Windjammer Food Court – where to send kids

Center Stage – jula shows (how you spell “hula” in Spanish), live music

Beach Volleyball Court – this is why you come to Hawaii in the first place. It’s the “jiggle and ripple” capital of the Pacific.

Hurricane Bay – The mega wavepool. Body surf on two to four foot waves.

Waianae Coast—Nearly five stories of water rides down the cliffs of Kapolei.

If gaudy fun is what you’re after, this place is a treat. If you’re looking for a quiet place to relax in the shade, this ain’t it.

Want to know the best places to eat in Hawaii? Click over to Ono Dining for totally biased reviews on Hawai's best (and not so best) restaurants.