One thing’s for sure, American’s love to work hard to figure out an easy way to do something. Take beaches, for example. Hawaii has some of the world’s greatest beaches. Beach nuts love them because they’re pure, unspoiled, remote, unpolluted—Just like Britney Spears used to be. Now there’s a web site called—4BeachNuts.com.4 Beach Nuts.

Someone has gone to a lot of trouble to gather, sort, categorize beaches all over the world on the vague assumption that we’ll search the database, find a beach we like, then—here comes the good ‘ole American know how—book a hotel near the beach.

If anything, the human species is creative. Regardless, 4BeachNuts.com is a very interesting web site. Not only are most of the popular Hawaii beaches listed (along with a few hotels where you can book a room to view the beach), but there’s other, so-called beaches listed by destination or activity.

Search by Destination –

• US
• Caribbean
• Europe
• South Pacific
• Canada (must be a typo)
• Mexico, Central & South America
• Asia
• Africa (talk about remote beaches—yes, that’s a crocodile)
• Mideast

Search by Activity (beach related)–

• Romance
• Family Friendly
• Shelling
• Camping
• Surfing
• Water Sports
• Exotic
• Entertainment (see next Activity entry)
• Clothing Optional (my favorite)
• Pure Beauty (I must have been on the beach that day)

That just about covers all the major beaches on the planet and pretty much anything you’d want to do on any given beach, short of sending in the Marines with an assault landing force.

OK, let’s check out 4 Beach Nuts to see how good it is.

I started the search by selecting United States, then Hawaii. Yes, Virginia. Hawaii is in the US. We use the greenback, have McDonald’s, and drive on the right (correct) side of the road. Which is more than you can say about major industrial island nations in Europe and the Far East.

Then I selected “Romance” as the Type of Beach.

The result? Nada. Nothing. No return. Empty. Believe it or not, apparently the experts on the world’s beaches don’t think there are any romantic beaches in Hawaii.

Get real.

Upon reading the “fine print” on the display page I found out why.

“No Lodging Found. No entry matching the required search criteria was found. Please try some alternate search criteria!!”

I don’t know about you, but that sounds like an insult in my neighborhood. Remember, there are no loose dogs in Kalihi. Only chickens.

It’s obvious they’re only matching up beaches that have sponsored hotel advertisers. Yeeeesh. Maybe that’s why there’s no beaches listed for North Carolina. Matching a beach to a hotel would be the equivalent of putting two and two together. In North Carolina, the limit is three.

OK, let’s do it again. This time I select “Family Friendly.” I KNOW we have plenty of those kinds of beaches.

Plenty must mean only two. Both on the Big Island. Of course, the results page has more information about Places To Stay.

Convenient, huh?

OK, let’s do it again. This time I select “Surfing.” I KNOW we have plenty of those kinds of beaches in Hawaii.

Hmmmm. Plenty must mean something different to Beach Nuts. Again, “NO Lodging Found.”

Same for Clothing Optional and Exotic. NO Lodging Found.

This could get old, very fast.

Under Entertainment, only one beach was listed—The beach next to Hotel King Kamehameha on the Big Island. Now this hotel comes highly recommended—but not by me. The beach is crummy (too many rocks) and the sheets were so thin I’d swear I could read the Honolulu Advertiser by looking right through the sheets. In fact, the only large white things I could think of that was as translucent as those sheets was the Advertiser paper itself.

Under Pure Beauty, three more Big Island beaches show up.

It’s obvious that 4 Beach Nuts has a good sales representative on the Big Island.

Want to know the best places to eat in Hawaii? Click over to Ono Dining for totally biased reviews on Hawai's best (and not so best) restaurants.